The adults we tend to give too many turns to things, and we complicate life for no reason. Conventional wisdom dictates that children and drunks tell the truth, but I extend to the smallest see things as they really are, without adding our fears or past trauma to the situations we face.
Last Friday I was with Esmie. The McGuffin was back a few comics that I had borrowed to translate and he lend me the latest round of work in which I work. While having breakfast with Triki, I mentioned that he had stayed with him. He looked at me with serious eyes and said "Why, mama? After what made you, why stay with him?".
And the truth isthat, why do it? The first time I saw him before the holidays, was to find out what was for him. It was weird, because it was and was not the person wanted. But at least I was very clear that they no longer loved him, that the person sitting opposite me was not what I wanted. Maybe for a long time and it was not.
While there was some justification for the above quote, why go back to stay? Maybe to see how it is, because even if you want, I still worry about him. A friend said yesterday that perhaps it was curiosity. To see what feels to him, to relocate in my life, if I decide to make room. Maybe someday you will look and think "this guy is a sad step away" or maybe, it is as uNo good friend despite what I did.
do not know, and at this stage, to speculate on what will end up in the future is useless. But the words of my daughter made me think. First, I am sorry that 7 years have to face depending on which aspects of life. Yes, he is mature, very smart for what she wants and so on, but ... what would it have the carefree life of her companions, whose dream is to sing the themes of High School Musical .
And the second thing is that I think I will be a while before returning to see Esmie. Not for anything special, because I spent a very pleasant time talking about books and comics, but I want to get away. Not only for what I have done, but because it is not my vida. And right now, can not contribute much to my reconstruction. Even if it costs, and hurt, and there are days when I can not go, I carry out the changes that I proposed in my life because I know that in the long run be better for me. And the truth is I can not waste time and mental effort to edit my conversations with him.
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